Yesterday I talked about how I’d noticed a few people out in Calgary who instead of just saying “bye” when they hang up, they say “mmbye.” I wondered if this is a western Canadian phenomenon since I don’t recall hearing it back in Ontario. Lynch does it, as does one of my new friends Brian - who I captured in the audio below. Another quirk a listener pointed out, was the use of “hey” instead of “eh.” Any other speech patterns unique to western Canada?

mmmbye.mp3

Amanda stopped by the X92.9 RV to chat about her bid to become Maxim magazine’s next Hometown Hottie.? You can rock your vote on the website.

As you might know, I moved to Calgary from Toronto at the beginning of the year. I have a few relatives here, but they have the kids thing going on. I’ve made friends with people at the radio station, but many of them came from other places too.

I’m not much for meeting people in bars. It’s a tough environment to get to know someone. I’ve always found the best way to meet interesting women is through friends. Here in Calgary I don’t have a ton of local friends, so it’s kinda tough.

Out of curiosity, I started browsing some of the dating sites like Lavalife (paid), Plenty of Fish (free) and OK Cupid (free). Some interesting people there, but again it’s not really casual social, but people aggressively trying to meet people.

We’re still working on some singles events that’ll hopefully be able to bring together X-listeners who like good music for starters.

As for me…still looking, but not desperately.

It’s spring and the blossoming has begun. Turd blossoms. If you own a dog, pick up after it, otherwise you shouldn’t have a dog. Owning a dog comes with responsibilities, and if you can’t pick up its poop, then?you’re not responsible enough. If your dog poops under a bush, where nobody is likely to ever tread, you get away with a warning. If your dog poos?on grass where people can walk, and you don’t stoop ‘n scoop, you should be given a large fine and be sentenced to a few hours of community service picking up dog turds in parks. If your dog takes?a dump on a cement sidewalk or pathway that was designed for people?to walk on, you should have your dog taken away, and not be allowed to own a pet for 3 years. You should also be tied down while a?Great Dane unloads on your chest. Currently it is against the law in Calgary to not pick up after your pet (except on your own property), but the bylaw isn’t particularly well enforced.

I love dogs, but get annoyed at irresponsible owners.

P.S. the Calgary Humane Society has plenty of great pets up for adoption. Another great searchable directory for adoptable pets is Petfinder.com

Got another funny hate e-mail today.

?Josh Sucks | joshisgay@brokeback.com | IP: 64.42.233.190

Man you really are a loser. The ?make out inside RV? plan didn?t work, the ?put the X sticker in the boobs? didn?t work either, and now you?re begging for other singles to join you on the hunt? Lame?.

If you stop putting your mom on the air then maybe people wouldn?t think you?re a pussy?. well a big maybe?

You are the most annoying and unfunny DJ in calgary. Oh and I noticed you stopped bitching about how bad calgarians are in driving? How?s that speeding ticket and the crashed car? lol

?Wouldn’t it be easier for you to turn the dial to another station, as every other DJ in Calgary is more entertaining and funny? Yet, you seem to have heard all sorts of stuff on my show. Just turn the dial man, don’t torture yourself. Find a station that’ll make Brokeback-style jokes…cause that is definitely Hi-larious! I’m not begging anyone…just trying to help out the singles, myself included. I have not stopped bitching about Calgary drivers. There are many terrible, over-cautious drivers in this city. There are also many left lane hogs. I got a speeding ticket, but so what? I also got into a bumper scratching collision, because of sheer ice. My opinion hasn’t changed.

Now please turn the station to one that will make funny poop and gay jokes, as I don’t want you listening anymore. I try to cater the show to smart people, so obviously the show just isn’t for you.

P.S. if you’re not?a teenage girl, you shouldn’t be using?”lol”

I?talked about how there are plenty of bars in Calgary that put the Leafs games on TV, which is good, but?none that I’ve been to actually put the sound on for the games. I said that I’d even been to a bar in Los Angeles where they had a room with the Leafs game and the sound on.

I also explained that the Leafs have been my team since birth,?BUT, that now that I live in Calgary my team is the Flames…unless they play the Leafs. That happens once every year or three. So basically I’m a new Flames fan. I’ve actually cheered on the Flmaes in the playoffs in the past few years before coming here. After this discussion, the following unsigned e-mail arrived in my inbox from a J369:

?SUBJECT: Wake up, this is not Toronto bud

I just got home, turned on the radio and some guy was going on and on
and on and on, whining about the Leafs. And ended up telling the bars in
town to turn on the Leafs games and turn on the sound. Wake up, this is
Calgary, where you live, work, enjoy low taxes, good wages, job
opportunities, and great standard of living. Support your home community and
everything that goes with it, include the sports teams, or go back to
the ex-centre of the universe. 92.9 is not on my radio any more, but CJAY
stays - they support Calgary And I will actively encourage everybody I
know to do the same.

I told him I don't want him listening to my show anymore.

If you’re into the social networking sites, be a friend:

MySpace

Facebook

…and you can always fire off e-mails to josh@x929.ca

So, I’m new to Calgary, and a single guy. Judging from the calls, there seems to be quite a few of us out there. Initially I thought it might be a good plan to get a gang of single guys togther and hit a hotspot, or do a crawl. Now, I’m thinking that might be kinda scary…a bunch of us desperados coming into a place trolling for women. So I have a new idea.

I think it might be cool to throw a big singles bash for both single men and single women who are X92.9 listeners. I’m sure there are lots of single people listening who might be game. Maybe we could have a limited but equal number of passes for both men and women. That would ensure it wasn’t a sausage-fest (too many dudes)?or a clam-bake (too many ladies.) No couples!

If this were to happen, who’s in?

P.S. anyone know the girl on the left?

Last week, Lynch proclaimed Singles the best soundtrack in movie history. I disagree. Right off the top of my head, I’d say Garden State is a stronger soundtrack. Singles might be the best of the 90s, but that’s it. What do you think? Best soundtrack - not including movie musicals or concert films? Sound off!

I got a really surprising e-mail this afternoon:

Just an FYI - the F word is as offensive to the Homosexual community as the N word is to the Black Community. Until yesterday afternoon, I had been so thankful to have a station with some balls and music with some heart..but I would seriously rather listen to Celine Dion, Brian Adams and Nickleback 24 hours straight than the hateful and homophobic words I heard coming from you yesterday as you explained that despite your enjoyment of ANTM and your excitement over the Season Premier - you are absolutely not a F***** !!I seriously hope that you just didnt know how disgusting that word is to the Gay Community, and will make a point to scratch that word form your vocab!

And here’s what I e-mailed back:

Wow. Your letter surprised me, as I’ve often referred to myself as the gayest straight guy I know. I work with gay people, I play with gay people. I’m not sure if you heard the whole segment, but I was mentioning that I really liked

America’s Next Top Model, and then imitated in a redneck voice the typical homophobic a$$hole and what they might say about that - “What are you, some kinda faggot? yer as queer as a three-dollar bill!” etc. Homophobes make me angry. I’m not sure if you heard us tackle the issue of the homophobic NBA player last week, but I had an on-air debate with some homophobic guy who said he wouldn’t want a gay guy in the same locker room because it would make him feel uncomfortable - I told him that was ridiculous…if he was uncomfortable, he should be the one changing in another room. I would never use the word faggot as part of my own vocabulary. But as a homophobic character trying to point out the typical stupidity of homophobes, I think it’s fine. I’d be glad to discuss with you anytime via e-mail or phone. Have a good week