If you’re looking for hot (sorta skanky) girls and coffins, you might want to check out Cofanbruni.com and their 2007 Calendar featuring Car Show type models modelling on top of and around coffins. The company actually makes some pretty cool coffins. Interesting marketing idea.
As you rack your brain and race around trying to get gifts your family and friends will like this holiday season, keep in mind that a stupid present might just be the perfect present. Reuters reports that the website Stupid.com yesterday (November 26th) unveiled its list of the top 10 stupidest holiday gifts for 2007, with founder Gary Apple saying in a statement, “These gifts are so ridiculously stupid that everyone will want them.”  The top 10 are:
1.      Mistletoe to Go — Faux mistletoe on a suction cup that attaches to your forehead.
2.      The Hillary Nutcracker — A nutcracker made in the image of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, in which the nut is cracked between her pant-suited legs.
3.      Slingshot Monkey — A stuffed monkey dressed as a superhero who flies up to 50 feet as he screams.
4.      Larry Craig Action Figure — This talking Senator Larry Craig action figure with bendable limbs wears a T-shirt that declares “I Am Not Gay.” When he speaks, he repeats parts of the news conference Craig gave after it was revealed he’d been arrested on charges of soliciting gay sex in an airport bathroom.
5.      Uncle Oinker’s Gummy Bacon Candy — This candy looks like real bacon and comes packaged the same way too.
6.      Inflatable Moosehead — Save the effort of hunting and a real moose’s life by putting this inflatable moose head on your trophy wall.
7.      Electronic Yodeling Pickle — Press the button on this six-and-a-half-inch plastic pickle and an authentic-sounding yodel plays.
8.      Poo-lar Bear Candy — This plastic bear is filled with candy poop, so when you press down on its hind quarters he poops out a piece.
9.      Get Off the Phone Excuse Machine — This machine comes in handy when you need to get off the phone with a chatty Cathy. Press a button for excuses like “Whoops, there’s the door,” and “I can’t hear you, you’re breaking up.”
10.  Â
Was on my Facebook over the long weekend, and came across a profile too good to be true. One of my favourite websites is Hot Chicks With Douchebags, and one of their perennial favourites is a guy named Joey Porsche, a douchebag in the style of the Growing Up Gotti kids. Joey:
I didn’t think someone as ridiculously douchey and hilarious as Joey Porsche actually existed in Calgary. But I think I found him. Unfortunately, he shares my first name. The bad fake tan, the frosted tips, the ridiculous designer sunglasses, the coiffed brows, the tough-guy posing, the pursed lips, the bling, the wanna-G style, the giving the camera the finger, the designer duds…behold:
 
The only positive is that unlike Cancer, there is a cure. Douche is a choice.
Sometimes Eddie isn’t the best enunciator. The song on which this is most confusing is Yellow Ledbetter. Thankfully someone’s cracked the code, and shared it with us via YouTube goodness.
OK, technically this should be on Lynch’s blog and not mine, as Lynch is obsessed with Transformers. He wants to be a Transformer, or failing that, make love to a Transformer, or failing that, make love to his lotiony hand while wearing Transformer PJs. But Lynch is a lazy, lazy blogger, so this one’s for him. Maybe he’s not lazy enough to link to this post from his blog. We’ll see.
I must thank listener Leanne Harrison for sending this my way. We had some fun with it today. There’s a website where you can get Optimus Prime to call or e-mail a friend or enemy of yours. Unfortunately at the end of the message Optimus Prime starts shilling DVDs. Also, if you have an unusual name, you might be out of luck. There’s no Lynch and the closest to Josh I could get was Joshua.
Our beautiful X92.9 receptionist Jordan loves corny jokes, and a few months ago we brought her on-air to tell some, hoping it might become a regular thing. Well, after her first appearance, we got many positive calls, but some meany called Jordan at reception and told her that her jokes stunk. Well, Jordan was already a little hesitant about coming on live, and this forced her to retire from Jordan’s Jokes. A few weeks ago, I was at Mile One, and Erin was our server. Out of the blue, Erin asked me if I wanted to hear a joke. Of course I agreed. She proceeded to tell me the first joke you’ll hear below. It was a natural to have her come in to replace Jordan’s Jokes. And she’s sorta cute too.
I see a ton of guys who do their business in the men’s room, then leave without washing their hands. Pretty gross, especially when it was a stall visit. It’s even more funny seeing a guy finish his business, spend five minutes primping his hair in front of the sink and mirror, and then walk out without washing his hands. Perhaps more guys would wash up if the sinks looked like this:
Pauly Shore is in town for a bunch of shows at Yuk-Yuks over the weekend, and he’ll be stopping by my show from 4-5PM (ish) to have a chat and hang out. It’ll be live inside the X92.9 Studios at 17th Ave and 2nd on the Red Mile. Feel free to stop by and check it out.
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Well, today I am in studio until 6PM in my underpants. I lost the True Fitness challenge, but still feel pretty good about the progress I made. Here’s some hot amatuer pics, wash your eyes when you’re done:
And here’s audio of when Ken Andrukow from True came by to reveal the results:
I found this list attributed to “Esquire” but it’s got to be the British version. Here’s the list:
Do you have some better ones?
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