You could say that Jer Wayne Junior and Turleen are Barbie’s embarrassing cousins. Turleen comes barefoot and pregnant with her hair in curlersand a cigarette in her mouth. Squeeze her belly and she’ll tell you “Pour me a double. I’m drinking fer two” and “Bubba Jr. get off yer sister!” Jer Wayne Junior sports all the redneck essentials like a mullet, missing teeth, NASCAR tattoo, cigarette, dirty tanktop and a beer in hand. Press his chest and he’ll fart and whisper sweet nothings like “Fifteen of them beers and yer still ugly” and “Honest, I’m not lying through my tooth.” The dolls sell for $33 and come in a patriotic red, white and blue window display box.

We get plenty of Telemarketers calling to the station, and the occasional survey. I took this survey call about education in Calgary:

Survey Says

I had a story about a guy who got spanked in Arkansas, and somehow it evolved into me getting spanked on the butt by Candice (from The Show) as I stood on top of the mixing board with my shorts around my ankles. There were eyewitnesses, but no photo evidence. Listen here:

Josh gets a spanking audio

We all know Greg is a weird dude, and in the past he’s explained his aversion to shorts. Well apparently Greg isn’t going swimming anytime soon, because he’d rather not swim at all than be seen in a bathing suit. Listen as he tries to explain:

Bathing Suit Audio

It’s been awhile since we chatted with Greg (X92.9 Evenings and Weekends) about his weirdness. This week, it came out that Greg has never taken a road trip with a guy buddy (or buddies). In fact he wondered what the point is of a roadtrip without a girl. After all, in Greg’s world, happiness cannot be found unless you’re in the company of a girl that likes you. Listen to him try to explain himself here:

Greg and road trips audio

Who is Dimitri the Lover? Well, the voicemails were pretty famous. I dug a little deeper, and this is a creepster in Toronto who lost his medical license for inappropriate behaviour with female patients. He now has his own seduction website!

The voicemail story goes that a girl named Olga met a guy named Dimitri somewhere public. They talked very briefly, and she gave Dimitri her card and said “give me a call.” The following are purportedly two voicemail messages he left for her following their brief meeting. Listen here:

Dimitri Voicemail 1

Dimitri Voicemail 2

If you think writing in a Little Black Book is so 20th century, a New York man is helping peoplemaintain sex logs in cyberspace. Myblackbook.org allows users to upload photos and record theirsexual encounters. The site then provides graphs and charts to keep track of their conquests.

We get plenty of telemarketing calls at the station, and quite a few are credit card offers. Would they offer a credit card to someone just about to declare bankruptcy? Listen:

Bankruptcy Telemarketer

As previously discussed, Greg Beharrell is a pretty strange fellow who cherishes girls above all else. Sometimes Greg’s “do anything to make a girl happy” attitude perplexes the rest of us. This time around, the ardent non-smoker, non-drinker tells us he’d let a girl smoke in his home, though only a girl he’s interested in…no guy friends. Listen to the chat here:

Greg worships girls audio

As everyone has come to understand, Greg Beharrell (X92.9 evening/weekend guy) is a pretty odd fellow. This is especially true when it comes to girls. He is always worried about doing the wrong thing and having a girl not like him. If he is text-messaging with a girl, he gets into a text-fog that doesn’t clear until the girl ends the chat. Have a listen:

Greg is a text addict audio