Got two new calls for you. One came just before I headed out to Florida. It came after more than a month of no calls. The second one was just after I returned from Flroida and before the holidays.

Click on ‘em to listen: 

Biggest Fan December 7th

Biggest Fan December 20th

If you’re looking for hot (sorta skanky) girls and coffins, you might want to check out  Cofanbruni.com and their 2007 Calendar featuring Car Show type models modelling on top of and around coffins. The company actually makes some pretty cool coffins. Interesting marketing idea.

Haven’t had a chance to upload these until now, so you get a triple dose of my “biggest fan.”

The first call is before I head off to Vegas for the weekend and Vegoose:

October 25th Biggest Fan

The second call comes in after she returns from Vegas, when I’ve already returned a week earlier. Apparently her Vegas trip was lonely and kinda boring:

November 5th Biggest Fan

The truth about her Vegas trip comes out, and it’s umm…strange:

November 8th Biggest Fan

A British TV station called UKTV Gold just released the results of a survey where they asked people to vote on which laws in the

U.K. are the STUPIDEST.  And here’s the top 10, in order . . . 

#1.)  It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

 #2.)  It’s an act of treason to put a postage stamp upside-down if it has a British monarch’s picture on it.

#3.)  In Liverpool, it’s illegal for a woman to be topless . . . unless she’s the clerk at a tropical fish store.

#4.)  It’s illegal to eat meat pies on Christmas Day. #5.)  In Scotland, if someone knocks on the door and needs to use your toilet, you have to let them in.

#6.)  A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a police officer’s helmet.

#7.)  If a whale dies on the British coast, its head instantly becomes the property of the king, and its tail instantly becomes the property of the queen.

#8.)  It’s illegal to withhold information from a tax collector . . . but only if it’s info that you don’t want him to know.  If you have information you don’t mind him knowing . . . you don’t have to tell him about it.

#9.)  It’s illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a full suit of armor. #10.)  In York, it’s legal to murder someone from Scotland . . . but only if they’re carrying a bow and arrow.

–The people in the survey also got to vote on the most ridiculous laws outside of the

U.K.  The winner:  In Ohio, it’s illegal to get a fish drunk.

 –Second place went to Indonesia, where the penalty for making angry, passionate love to yourself is DECAPITATION.

(Reuters U.K.)

OK, technically this should be on Lynch’s blog and not mine, as Lynch is obsessed with Transformers. He wants to be a Transformer, or failing that, make love to a Transformer, or failing that, make love to his lotiony hand while wearing Transformer PJs. But Lynch is a lazy, lazy blogger, so this one’s for him. Maybe he’s not lazy enough to link to this post from his blog. We’ll see.

I must thank listener Leanne Harrison for sending this my way. We had some fun with it today. There’s a website where you can get Optimus Prime to call or e-mail a friend or enemy of yours. Unfortunately at the end of the message Optimus Prime starts shilling DVDs. Also, if you have an unusual name, you might be out of luck. There’s no Lynch and the closest to Josh I could get was Joshua.

Optimus Prime Calls Lynch (audio)

Get OP to call someone

On Monday, my biggest fan (can’t use the “S” word anymore - too dangerous) called in and discussed some Halloween pranks she likes to play, and wanted me to help her pick a costume. The choices were tough. The image of Gene Wilder wearing a coconut bra is somewhat disconcerting. Listen:

Biggest Fan October 22

Well, apparently she knows about the poll ( over there –>) and doesn’t like the term stalker. When she called Friday, this is what my “biggest fan”she had to say

Stalker October 19th

My biggest fan called again. Apparently her relationship with the bottle collector didn’t last very long. She still hasn’t told us her name.

Stalker October 17th

Thanksgiving weekend came and went, and lo and behold, first day back, my biggest fan caled to share the latest details of her life, including turkey, and a new man! Listen here:

Turkey Stalker

…and don’t forget the poll over there in that column –>

Well, my biggest fan called not once, but twice, bookending the week. In the second call, she suggests I ask my listeners if they think I should go on a date with her. I’m pretty wary. I’ve never been attracted to Gene Wilder type women. Here are the calls:

Stalker October 1

Stalker October 5

And the poll, well it’s over there somewhere —>