More words to add to your vocabulary:

• Cinemuck: The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie theaters.
• Copafeliac: Somebody who can’t control their urges to grab members of the opposite sex.
• Drink bait: Term used to describe when a person’s role at a bar is to receive free drinks as gifts from unknown people and then give them to his/her friends instead. Typically played by a female, who will give her free drinks to her male buddies.
• Multislacking: Doing multiple slacker-esque things at one time, like watching TV, eating pizza, and chatting online.
• Vacationship: A long-distance relationship in which the couple only gets together for idyllic vacation-like excursions, therefore avoiding the “real-life” issues of dating.

I got a really surprising e-mail this afternoon:

Just an FYI - the F word is as offensive to the Homosexual community as the N word is to the Black Community. Until yesterday afternoon, I had been so thankful to have a station with some balls and music with some heart..but I would seriously rather listen to Celine Dion, Brian Adams and Nickleback 24 hours straight than the hateful and homophobic words I heard coming from you yesterday as you explained that despite your enjoyment of ANTM and your excitement over the Season Premier - you are absolutely not a F***** !!I seriously hope that you just didnt know how disgusting that word is to the Gay Community, and will make a point to scratch that word form your vocab!

And here’s what I e-mailed back:

Wow. Your letter surprised me, as I’ve often referred to myself as the gayest straight guy I know. I work with gay people, I play with gay people. I’m not sure if you heard the whole segment, but I was mentioning that I really liked

America’s Next Top Model, and then imitated in a redneck voice the typical homophobic a$$hole and what they might say about that - “What are you, some kinda faggot? yer as queer as a three-dollar bill!” etc. Homophobes make me angry. I’m not sure if you heard us tackle the issue of the homophobic NBA player last week, but I had an on-air debate with some homophobic guy who said he wouldn’t want a gay guy in the same locker room because it would make him feel uncomfortable - I told him that was ridiculous…if he was uncomfortable, he should be the one changing in another room. I would never use the word faggot as part of my own vocabulary. But as a homophobic character trying to point out the typical stupidity of homophobes, I think it’s fine. I’d be glad to discuss with you anytime via e-mail or phone. Have a good week

There’s a great feature article on the station and profiles of all the DJs in the March edition of Urbane Magazine. It was a free pullout in today’s (Wednesday) Calgary Sun. If you missed the paper, I’m told it will be distributed?the rest of the month at various hotspots throughout the city. In all of my pictures, I seem to have a double chin. I’m on the cover with Roger Kingkade, and there’s a profile picture inside. And as a special bonus, there’s a picture of me in the RV. I look pretty harsh, but it was sort of a surprise photo shoot. They edited some of the interview questions I submitted, and if I can find my original, I’ll post the full piece here soon. They asked what my favourite song is, and I said “The Mexican Hat Dance because I like Mexicans. And hats.”

Here are a few pictures that didn’t make the magazine:

Here are your new words from todays show:

• Brolimic: A guy who is suffering from bulimia.
• Complidiss: A back-handed compliment.
• Digital packrat: An obsessive collector of digital media, for which ample space (disk and physical) may become problematic.
• Re-re-rehab: A person’s second, third or fourth attempt to enter rehab. See Britney Spears.
• Scar vendor: Any amateur tattoo artist that distributes and sells tattoos either without a proper license, or without credible experience.
• Spedestrian: Any person whose walk is the speed of an average man’s run, yet still has natural steps. May cause others in the group to jog in order to catch up.

And the winner is…Don Wood. Everybody had a great set, and the toughest thing of all was picking just 1. I’ve been thinking about the process lately, and while the set-up is similar to that of American Idol, it differs in one big way. In American Idol, the singers are basically just doing karaoke, and when you get right down to it, the songs don’t mean a whole lot to them personally. Stand-Up comedians are very attached to the material, as they write it, deliver it, and it’s?based around their personality. It’s personal, and that makes the judging even harder. I tried to be as constructive as possible. I’ve been to the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal about 15 times, and each time have seen dozens of the best comedians the world has to offer, so I tried to share what help I could.?Calgary’s got some great comedians, and some great comedians in the making. Back to tonight: we had another fantastic sell-out crowd, which helps immensely. Don has a unique style to his act, which will help set him apart when he goes to Toronto to represent Calgary for the big finals, and a shot at the $25,000. I believe the finals will be televised on the Comedy Network, so I’ll definitely keep you posted on an air date.

Another competition rolls through Calgary Yuk-Yuks on Friday March 9th. This time around it’s affiliated with the Just for Laughs Festival. I’ll be a judge for that one as well, though I think the format is more anonymous for the judges.

If you were at any of the shows, feel free to leave some comments. Thanks!

Here’s a picture of me and a pair of the judges (l to r: myself, Jasen, Nancy)

?

To hear my mother’s take on the Oscars, click the link below:

mom5.mp3

Tonight is the last night of The Great Canadian Laugh Off in Calgary. This is part of a national search, and I’ve been one of three judges in an American Idol style competition. We’ve had full houses the last couple of Tuesdays, and tonight should be no different. All of the finalists from the last three Tuesdays will perform to see who will head to the finals in Toronto and a shot at $25,000. If you’re planning on going, buy your tickets early, as it will sell out. If you do come out, make sure you say hello.

Add ‘em to your vocabulary:

• Accountant sex: Very planned out formalized sex.
• Ghetto pancakes: Toast covered with butter and syrup.
• Hostage lunch: A meal purchased by the company you work for, often pizza, and delivered for employees who bosses require them to attend a meeting or work over their lunch hour.
• Workend: A weekend in which you have to go into the office to get caught up/ahead on work.

Over the weekend, Newsboy got a shirt made with his own name on it. I told him, you never see Green Day wearing Green Day T-shirts, or Trent Reznor wearing a Nine Inch Nails T. It would be much cooler if some really hot girl went out and got a Newsboy T-shirt made, then again, we might wait a long (long!) time for that to happen. At least somebody’s wearing a Newsboy shirt. I think I might have to collect some royalties for using the nickname Newsboy which I gave to James Callsen. I also coined the slogan “Fauxhawk…Real News.” Now we just have to get that on a T-shirt.

My alter-ego, Mexican wrestler Jorge “The Taco Snake”?Holliday was in the studio today looking for a fight.